1. Elie is not Foyle. But his mama likes to meatspin. Also his papa manages to have huge stone testicles which look like cookies that always find something similiar compared to quantum physics .

2. Somewhere in an alternate universe Snow Patrol's "Chasing Cars"is being played on a boombox, held over Lloyd Dobbler's head, in front of a girl's house.

3. Krieger thinks he once found the end of the internet. I'm thinking he found the bottom of the internet.

4. Stay away from Vancouver. Krieger went there - lemondrops, meatspinners and eels - nuff said. I'm worried about Buzz.

5. Bluewire was threatened with a statewide ban for simply trying to convince others that he owns a unique soprano style similar to that of El Debarge, worst of all, it interprets to...William Hung.

6. More Canadian advice: Keep flipping through the rolls until you smell shit, then go back one.

7. I would live all my life in nonchalance and insouciance
Were it not for making a living, which is rather a nouciance.

8. The NFL is technology and Al Davis is a VCR. Revolutionary, but outdated.

9. Rly is the kind of guy who gets out of the shower to take a piss.

10. The drinking isn't really the mojo itself, per se, it's just that drinking makes the mojo a whole lot easier to feel.

11. Larry Biehl digs chicks who have a huge proportion of backfat hanging over their pink tanktops.

12. Cliches: I've decided that I need to take it to the next level this week . I know most of you will say "go get a real job,” but I have to try. So, my wife's away and that's okay, I mean all I was gonna get anyway was "I''m on my period,” and "honey, can you spoon me?” this weekend anyway. So I decide to hit the bars and see what happens. Giants on the screen, moving up in the standings - looking good, but you gotta take it one game at a time to win in this league. This lady sits down next to me. She had a nice personality, but she kept yelling "Woo Hoo!” whenever the Cards scored, which was a lot. I gotta be honest with you, in terms of onomatopoeia, I hate that "Woo Hoo!" sh*t, but I'm keepin' it real so I tell her that we can still be friends. She looks at me and says, "do you work here?” I can see she's playing me, but that's poker so hey, let the chips fall where they may. The Giants get hammered. Okay, they gave it 110% so I can't complain. Meanwhile some asshole in a Cards uniform is saying "I'd like to thank God for the win.” I look at my neighbor and realize I'm not nearly drunk enough, I mean looks aren't important but c'mon. So I tell her, I'll buy the next ten drinks if Felipe Alou says "I'd like to blame God for the loss.” Just trying to get a laugh, but I'll be damned if the scrawny old rooster didn't do exactly that when Krukow started in with his "there were so many positives to this loss” crap. Anyway, I did the stand-up thing and bought the drinks. Woke up at home alone, so I guess we're just friends.

Now if I could just find where the damn beeping noise is coming from.

13. A wife going away is like getting paroled from decency.

14. Stone knows all the words to In Memory Of Elizabeth Reed by the Allman Brothers. Someday I'm going to make him sing it.

15. If you want a government contract, hire union labor. For the more complicated jobs, you need two sixpacks of Corona and a Guatemalan.

16. Shikantaza is the meatspinner.

17. If you see WW on a post, it's no longer a good thing. Nulls, meatspinning, new and interesting uses of marine life, this place has it all. I think I need a gay mojito.

18. Header Madness:


people think i'm fillipino or korean for the weirdest reason.

If that's true, it's like 8 different kinds of laughing my assoph.

All my Asian girlfriends pop a Pepcid before we get smashed...

I deny their lives.

gswfan4ever. versus. highflyer. or was it rub my muff?

My wife is wondering what the Glass Schlong is, lol.

just imagine the outrage if a mountain lion ate Paris Hilton.

Unless Cao Gangchuan uses a tunnel through The Great fireWall and is indeed "Shallow Hal"

you thru Curious George under your 3 wheeler?

oh wicked, bad, naughty Zoot. We must give her a spanking!

ju fuck wit' me, ju fuckeen wit da best!

This thought had but passed through his mind when God appeared unto him

there was no link posted here... just the mere whisper of meatspin..

No way the real Earl grabs that little leg. He'd negotiate a compromise

I never realized beavers are rodents

19. Always remember, there's only one true dork, Mr. imadork earl j. slick.

20. Adonal Foyle sucks, is 27 pounds overweight, and is third-string. Woo Hoo!