1. We are all just vessels for warm grease.

2. No sportjacket is required for an informal scrimmage

3. Patrick O'Bryant has huge manboobs.

4. Jeannie Z. Both Shaq and Reggie Miller in one night. Reggie was the appetizer.

5. It's easy to talk shit about the old, bald, toothless guy you just saw coming out of the massage parlor. But you're no better than him.

6. There are compassionate people on this board, but bluewire is helping them work through that problem.

7. You DO look fat in that dress

8. There is no sweeter trophy in sports than the Glass Schlong.

9. No one named Billy Hoyle, exclamation point or not, has ever worn "activator".

10. Paris Hilton has worked very hard developing her brainless billionaire slut persona. You usually don't find that kind of ambition with that kind of trust fund.

11. So many people today yearn for any grown up man who isn't hostile or sold-out or a moron or a fool or a drunk. This is why they settled for ...Crikey.. Steve Irwin.

12. Orcs are brainwashed SS stormtroopers with no concern for the sanctity of life.

13. epic self-ownage:

www.whorepresents.com
www.expertsexchange.com
www.penisland.net
www.therapistfinder.com
www.powergenitalia.com
www.molestationnursery.com
www.ipanywhere.com
www.cummingfirst.com
www.speedofart.com
www.gotahoe.com


14. "Andrea Bargnani" is Italian for "Kwame Brown."

15. Where have our sports heroes gone? WIllie Mays was in the army for a year and a half then came back and won the NL MVP in only his second year. Juiced. Ryan Howard had FISH STEM CELL injections

16. Post of the week:

Sorry, but I feel like a big ol' cup of Apathy Joe.
Sure, I'm buzzed, previously surrounded by a swarth of 21st century excess in a SF bar. Chicks with iPod headphones, dudes checking their celly's more often than not.
Hot bartender's, branded on their asses by the corp.
Ex-patriot Kosovo militants bouncing, with the surname of Milosovic...seriously.
I guess only the brotherhood of man will get us through, and I'm not talking about the protest just to protest crowd.
Celebrate armagetton? Embrace an illegal? Get to know your neighbor? Eat persian? Order a Russian bride?
Fuck.

17. WW post of the week:
Taut, smallish tits.
Leopard skin translucent bikini.
Fake eyelashes, blue eyeliner.
Post-coital hair.
Sucking on ice-cube, ice-pick in hand.
Spider web stockings up to knees.
Shadow of a threesome on a pink wall.
Stacks of hundred dollar bills on the table.

18. The best single episode of any show in television history starred William Shatner? Check it out: Dude kept seeing that thing out on the wing of the plane and NO ONE BELIEVED HIM.

19. Header madness:

I love god, but he is not a warriors fan.

I am having serious prostate trouble. Do you think NELLIE can help?!?!

YAY FOR VERNERAL DISEASE! IT BURSN BUT I LOVE IT.

Charlie Batch's mom has the best haircut ever.

THE FISHING REPORT

Two great whites chomping
3 gators a snappin
4 crocs a cracking
5 snakes a strikin
6 piranhas a puncturing
7 Foyles a fumbling
8 Sprees a choking
9 fatties dancing
And a Thunder on a trampoline

actually, it's MINIMUM 4-6 weeks -
That's not possible
oh well... nothing really makes sense on this team...
they could have said 4 weeks to infinity
...and beyond!
....plus or minus 2 more weeks
That's what Stephen Hawking said.
That's right, mothafuggas
That...kicks...ass. Pimpin' the Grand Funkified Theory.
The maximum is 6 weeks to 1.2M years
Thank God it wasn't infinity

20 Moral of the story: Life is short, so find the good in it and appreciate, holmes. In other words, Adonal Foyle sucks, but you will never find him standing outside Ben's apartment choking his chicken.