1. The 'trick' is to think in multiple dimensions to offset ostensible contradictions.

2. Every day, every single day, at various times but always after noon, an American destroyer passes back and forth near altamont's office, bouncing sonar off the sea floor in order to gauge his position and, presumably, proceed with depth charges in order to annihilate him. He can hear the pinging sounds.

3. Boating is about drinking, fishing and chicks in bikinis.

4. We definitely need a boat. We probably shouldn't take altamont on the boat.

5. Monty will be fired and a cabal of Don Nelson, Donn Nelson, Larry Brown, Garry St. Jean, Mario Elie and Felton Spencer will take over on Wednesday. All of this will happen on Monday or in two weeks.

6. The mouth is a sphincter too.

7. There's this weird phenomenon on the PS2 where the punter freezes holding his groin.

8. Somewhere between 3 and 9 Mexican fishermen were stranded at sea for somewhere between 3 and 9 months. Rumor has it that Julio tasted the best.

9. Billy Hoyle's mom's roommate used to bang the Yaz -- he gave her the Triple Crown.

10. Stone's penis was deleted by one of the moderators.

11. Buzz's fluctuates, according to horniness, drunkeness, hotness of woman (real or imagined) and intervals between orgasm, plus the whole getting out of the pool thing.

12. The wrath of God is like great waters that are dammed for the present... they increase more and more, and rise higher and higher, till an outlet is given; and the longer the stream is stopped, the more rapid and mighty is its course, when once it is let loose." Posted by altamont 2006-08-24 12:47:46

13. There is not a god. Posted by altamont on 2006-08-24 13:35:53

14. DURKA DURKA

15. Jihad me at hello

16. Sources have debunked the rumor that Mickey is considering renaming his dog Uranus.

17. Header Madness:

I had a dream last night that I had been hired as the Warrior waterboy

So, do people like, cheat on warriorsworld? Do they have other boards they go to or something?

AQ Kahn has ass cancer

I OT everything when speaking about encounters with chicks

Murphy is a double double who works hard but is lazy" - isn't that contradictory?

I never really considered Pluto a planet, anyways...

After I undressed her, I was upset to see that her head hadn't been properly screwed on.

Team chink better fuckin win at survivor is all i have to say

18. earl j slick is a fuckin dork. and ucla runs college basketball. no one is ever touching us. scorebored bitches. farmar on lakers bitches. prince shipp and afflalo in nba within 2 years bitches. lorenzo mata is a beatufull human being. p.s. i saw al harrington in my right aid too haters. and thats why im pretty sure he's gonna end up on warriors

19. Harrington to the Pacers. But hey, at least we're not in Missouri.

20. Adonal Foyle Foyle is a top-10 center with bad hands and no offensive game who is fat but a gentleman who merely accepted and did not steal money. I guess that means he still sucks.